Good afternoon pals and gals! I have no time, so please don't get offended if I don't respond to anyone. We're in Rancho (with some homies) and I'll meet my companion tomorrow due to some complications of transfers this week.
WE GOING TO BARSTOW BABY! WOOHOO!
Transfers were rough today, that's for sure. I can honestly say I have not been anything like this since I got dropped off at the mtc. I've spent half my mission so far in this ward, and it's really left an impact on me. Poor Dan though, he took it harder than me. On Saturday we went to help Yvonne move and he told me in the car (because I had gotten the news the day before that I was leaving) "Well Brown, I got all my crying out last night, so I won't cry anymore about you leaving."
Plot Spoiler: He lied.
I felt really bad this morning, because we had to pick up some last minute things before I left for Rancho and then Barstow tomorrow, and right before we left his house and he dropped me off for the last time he looked at me all choked up and said "Well, I guess I better go see my boy off". Broke my heart. I'm going to miss that family so much. I can't put into words how much I care about them. I just can't.
And it's not just Dan. I love this ward so much. Obviously, I didn't connect with EVERY member, but there are so many that I will miss so much.
BUT! No we're on to bigger and better things. None of the least of which being I am officially in a car! With a crap ton of miles! (Not this month, because we had to drive to the LITERAL opposite side of the mission, because we're in Chino rn, but it's w/e) I'm super pumped to be in Barstow. And we're whitewashing! This is my 3rd whitewash in the mission so far and I love it (that means both me and my companion will be new to the area, not just one of us).
I just keep replaying in my mind when Nathan Wawro grabbed my mission map over 14 months ago and said "WAIT!! BARSTOW'S IN YOUR MISSION???" And now I am one of the privileged few to serve in the holy lands.
Well, I'm excited to let you know how the rest of our time goes here in Barstow, but that will have to wait (at least until we get there lol).
Quick spiritual thought: Guilt is only supposed to drive you to repentance. No further. In fact, any further and it becomes destructive. So stop feeling so guilty. "And now, my son, I desire that ye should let these things trouble you no more, and only let your sins trouble you, with that trouble which shall bring you down unto repentance." (Alma 42:29) So don't beat yourself up over mistakes you've made or you are making. Even if those mistakes affect others. It's amazing what miracles God will bless us with when we sincerely repent. Those feeling we hurt? Will eventually be softened. Those words we said? Will eventually be forgotten. The cuts we made, and the bruises we beat will, in the long run, be healed by him who is mighty to save. Trust in God's powers to fix problems that overwhelm you. Now, that doesn't take away our requirement to act, for he needs instruments to perform his tasks, but it should (if the principle is properly studied and understood in individual study) take away so much of the weight that bears us down.
That's something that has really plagued me a lot, but today getting to talk to President Taylor and through a few weeks of diligent study, I've come to see that guilt is a tactic used WAY to much. So don't feel so guilty. Feel bad enough to change, change, and then move on. :) Let God take care of the rest.
I love you all so much!
Church is true!